[420 Girl]

Urban legend has it that the U.S. Constitution was written on hemp fiber paper (it was actually written on parchment), but were the Founding Fathers stoned when they were composing it?

That truth is self evident, says Alan Schwartz, a volunteer for Mile High NORML -- John Adams and Thomas Jefferson came from a time when resources were precious and the most was made from them to avoid wasting anything that might be beneficial. Most paper in those days was made from hemp, and growing good hemp for paper, ropes, sails and the like required good strains of both male and female cannabis plants. And everyone knows what good female plants produce -- a sense of elation in smokers.
"Back in those days, if you killed a deer, you used every part of the deer for something," Schwartz said. The same is true with the plants they grew, he said. "You just know they were smoking cannabis."

What's also self evident is that these are the sorts of conversations one can expect when you throw a few hundred marijuana users together with a great deal of time on their hands. And that was surely the case yesterday in Denver's Capitol building as more than 100 medical marijuana proponents signed up to testify about a bill that will impose strict regulations on the state's booming marijuana dispensary industry. The law enforcement community was also out in force as well as several district attorneys, including state Attorney General John Suthers himself.

During testimony that continued past midnight, it was clear that almost no one was completely happy with a proposal by state senators Nancy Spence and Chris Romer. In fact, Romer warned the members of the Senate Local Government and Energy Committee, which heard the testimony and eventually passed the bill onto the full Senate for a later vote, that it wasn't perfect but that it was a start in the right direction.

Cops griped that the bill amounted to legitimizing dispensaries, which would lead to increased crime. Marijuana patients complained that a provision banning 21 year olds from dispensaries was a frivolous nuisance. Dispensary owners worried that expensive licenses and a requirement that they grow 70 percent of the product they sell could put them out of business.

Still, the proposal wasn't without its supporters. Mark Radtke and Andy Karsian -- representatives of the Colorado Municipal League and Colorado Counties Inc., respectively -- had no problem with the bill, mainly because it allowed local governments a great deal of power and flexibility in how to handle dispensaries at home. And Jarvis Shead, who has had cerebral palsy since birth and testified from a wheelchair, said medical marijuana is critical to controlling his back spasms and migraine headaches and that the industry needs regulation so that it is "done smartly."

"A lot of these dispensaries aren't even handicapped-accessible," he said. "I can't even go in there to purchase my medicine."

In all it was a long day that was made longer by what many observers assumed was a cruel practical joke played by the committee members -- only once the hearing chamber was packed with people did they learn that another bill would be heard first, one that would require homebuilders to offer new-home buyers water-efficient toilets and faucets. Therefore, more than 100 cannabis fans and stony-faced cops endured excruciating testimony about how many times Sen. Bill Cadman has to flush his 1.2-gallon toilet to get the job done, questions about a witness's daughter's showering habits and other inanities.

If there was a bright side, the long delay allowed an opportunity for more interesting THC-inspired conversation -- and at least one relevantly ironic observation.

"Check out the stained glass window up there," said one fellow to a neighbor, pointing to the main windowpane that overlooked the entire proceeding. "It's a picture of the governor sharing the peace pipe with a Ute."

And indeed it was -- one of Colorado's own founding fathers was depicted passing around a big bowl of smoke with one of its original inhabitants. Of course there was no telling what substance they were smoking, but about a dozen people nevertheless took it as divine inspiration -- they were inspired to abandon the scintillating toilet-flush testimony in order to medicate.

It was going to be a long night, after all.

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